John Campbell
Staff Writer

Summers in the city are notoriously hot, especially when you’re sitting in downtown traffic. Riding season was just starting so while gearing up for a short ride one day, I was really anticipating getting out on a nice cool, open stretch of road far from all the heat and traffic. I finish suiting up in my Alpinestars Monza two-piece leather suit, ease on my helmet and gloves and head out.

Normally while traveling this street, I get lucky and make mostly green lights but today that just wasn’t in the cards and I’ve managed to catch every red light. This sucks, I thought.

While coming up to a stop, I notice a fellow rider a little ahead of me seems to be feeling the same way.  He’s sitting on an older Kawasaki 750 with the pipe chopped and a small baffle on the end. The bike sounds nice and you can tell he’s raring to go. He was wearing a white t-shirt, flip-flop and jean cut-offs. That’s pretty casual for cycle riding, I think. Must be a newbie.

Looking over to my right, I see a young woman waving her arms and running toward us. I couldn’t quite make out what she was yelling at first but she seemed intent on getting someone’s attention. 

“Dangle! Dangle! Dangle!” she yells. The young lady is laughing and pointing in a manner that makes me a little self-conscious. 

What in the world? The other rider notices the woman too. Figuring something must be about ready to fall off my motorcycle I look down to check it. Nope, no problem here. The light turns green and I’m thankful to finally get moving again but that odd scene doesn’t leave me. Dangle? What could that mean?

As traffic approaches the next red light, I look over at the casual newbie. This time he’s slightly behind me so I can get a better look at his bike. He notices me now and gives that polite smile and wave motorcyclists always give each other when out in traffic. I see him checking out my bike. It occurs to me that he seems to be a nice enough guy despite his underdressed appearance. 

Then, while giving his bike another look, I notice just how underdressed. 

“Ohhhhhhh," I said.  “Dangle!”

My newbie friend didn’t heed the warning to always wear clean underwear or, in his case, to wear underwear at all!

Moral: If you’re not going to wear proper gear while riding, at least wear drawers and long pants.